Around New Years I have my Anne Shirley moments. For me, it’s not: every day is a fresh start, with no mistakes in it. My mistakes tend to have slumber parties and even crash for a whole week. Instead, it is: every year is a fresh start, a gas station to refuel the car, toss trash, buy soda and junk food , and pee before taking on the next 300 (give or take) miles to the next one. I admit that I have been fearful of looking back over last year. It wasn’t so pretty. But when I do, I see that it was not all bad. It was difficult. I probably gave myself a few wrinkles. But there are some things I would never give back.
Well, there’s the obvious, so pretend I mentioned it and we’ll just move on.
The other obvious. It took a while, but I have gotten better. Promise.
Those were the two big ones. Compared to the mind boggling stature of these two things, any other negatives seem insignificant (Think: waves caused by the Japanese Olympic divers compared to the Canadians). I guess this realization and perspective it brought with it; that what I’ve always considered to be gignormous life altering Godzillas, are actually small and mildly loveable woodland ninjas, might actually be a positive?
I went to Europe
I went to Europe alone
I didn’t die when I went to Europe alone.
I took improv classes. I stood in front of people. I made a fool of myself.
I learned how to approach people and talk to them without the thought “Why would this person want to talk to me?
I was in a musical: Yes, a small one (laugh if you will) but this is something I’ve always wanted to do, and I did it. Yay me!
I had a party and almost 40 people came (Granted, there may have been blackmail involved)! (Goodbye 11th birthday party that I’ve been holding onto for 15 years when only one person showed up out of the 30 that I invited)
I’ve reconnected with several people that I rationally thought I would never see again.
My sister wrote a book...can this be my positive?
I became closer to people I love. Yes, I mean you!
I lost 25 pounds and found my cheek bones(gained 5-10? Back...mmmmm chocolate).
So, there are technically more positives than negatives here. However, I’m not going to pretend that they outweigh the negatives. There were some pretty big negatives this year. But I think, that next year, the first one will slowly become a positive, or at least neutral. The second one? Well, it sucks. And it will never really stop sucking. It will continue to get better, but there will always be a pang. However, there were some pretty life alteringly great things that happened as well. And…what’s always a good thing to know around this time of year: I would not go back to being the person I was 12/31/2009. I like who I’m becoming and I intend to continue down this path. Which leads me to: Watch for tomorrow’s blog: My New Years resolutions! (That’s not actually what it will be called…because that’s a stupid name).
Now (to all three people that may...or may not...read this blog): what are some positive experiences you had this year?