Out with the old...

Around New Years I have my Anne Shirley moments.  For me, it’s not: every day is a fresh start, with no mistakes in it.  My mistakes tend to have slumber parties and even crash for a whole week.   Instead, it is: every year is a fresh start, a gas station to refuel the car, toss trash, buy soda and junk food , and pee before taking on the next 300 (give or take) miles to the next one.  I admit that I have been fearful of looking back over last year.  It wasn’t so pretty.   But when I do, I see that it was not all bad.  It was difficult.  I probably gave myself a few wrinkles.  But there are some things I would never give back.

 

Negatives:

Well, there’s the obvious, so pretend I mentioned it and we’ll just move on.

The other obvious.  It took a while, but I have gotten better. Promise.

Those were the two big ones. Compared to the mind boggling stature of these two things, any other negatives seem insignificant (Think: waves caused by the Japanese Olympic divers compared to the Canadians).  I guess this realization and perspective it brought with it; that what I’ve always considered to be gignormous life altering Godzillas, are actually small and mildly loveable woodland ninjas, might actually be a positive?

Positives:

I went to Europe

I went to Europe alone

I didn’t die when I went to Europe alone.

I took improv classes.  I stood in front of people.  I made a fool of myself.

I learned how to approach people and talk to them without the thought “Why would this person want to talk to me?

I was in a musical: Yes, a small one (laugh if you will) but this is something I’ve always wanted to do, and I did it.  Yay me!

I had a party and almost 40 people came (Granted, there may have been blackmail involved)!  (Goodbye 11^th birthday party that I’ve been holding onto for 15 years when only one person showed up out of the 30 that I invited)

I’ve reconnected with several people that I rationally thought I would never see again.

My sister wrote a book...can this be my positive?

I became closer to people I love.  Yes, I mean you! 

I lost 25 pounds and found my cheek bones(gained 5-10? Back...mmmmm chocolate).

I gained…um…perspective

So, there are technically more positives than negatives here.  However, I’m not going to pretend that they outweigh the negatives.  There were some pretty big negatives this year.  But I think, that next year, the first one will slowly become a positive, or at least neutral.  The second one?  Well, it sucks. And it will never really stop sucking. It will continue to get better, but there will always be a pang.  However, there were some pretty life alteringly great things that happened as well. And…what’s always a good thing to know around this time of year: I would not go back to being the person I was 12/31/2009.  I like who I’m becoming and I intend to continue down this path.  Which leads me to:  Watch for tomorrow’s blog: My New Years resolutions! (That’s not actually what it will be called…because that’s a stupid name).

Now (to all three people that may...or may not...read this blog): what are some positive experiences you had this year?