Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Baby steps

I’m going to take this opportunity to officially admit that I am writing…something.  I’m not quite sure what it is yet *lifts damp/limp something to examine more closely.* But it’s there.  I’ve written a vague and flexible (ever changing) outline of what I might want, and about 1,500 words.  I’ve even reluctantly shared information with two people.  Yes, I have done this before.  But this time I’m going to keep pushing (at least will try to) until my something either becomes a formed, breathing object; or disintegrates into shiny dust like a freshly slayed vampire.
I’m going to be frighteningly honest here.  There were many reasons why I switched from music to English as a major my freshman year in college.  One of the big reasons, however, was because I was terrified that I would not be allowed into (that I was not good enough to be in...) the Piano Performance Program.  Failing in general, for me, ranks with losing all my teeth in a freak hockey accident (seeing as I haven’t stepped on the ice since a certain skate-meets-hand incident my first time EVER) in pleasantness.  Being told that I am not good enough at something I love: my mind can’t even comprehend the pain this would cause.   I imagine the world would implode, sinking me into a hell full of open water, spiders, sea monsters, and electrocution (On a temporary psychological tangent…maybe this is why I have such a hard time with breakups…and personal criticism….and, okay we’re done now).
So, as you can see, admitting that I’m writing…something, is a huge step for me.  Because, if I fail, not only would I know (and have to admit to it); but at least one of my 12 (welcome latest follower person!) followers may also take notice.
Maybe next time I’ll even reveal the genre!


  1. Failure is inevitable. The only appropriate response is to continue trying.

  2. You can't succeed if you aren't willing to be vulnerable to failure :) And if you're not wiling to put yourself out there, are you really living? All 12 of us (I'm hoping) are here to support YOU in everything you do. That includes writing. We won't judge you if you fail--we'll be right there helping you get back up :)

  3. I wanted to laugh after I read this, because you sound so much like me when I started writing in earnest. I don't like failure. I'm afraid of telling people I write for fear they'll say, "Where can I find your book in Barnes and Noble?" and I'll say, "Well...see, it's not that easy..." and like that, I'll be judged. Wanna-be weirdo.

    So. Deep breath, and love what you do. Because that's the beating heart of what we're doing, and for the moment, all that matters.

  4. Well now you need to welcome number 13...YAY!! Hey...Go for it and learn from the process... and try to enjoy "the learning from the process" because you are growing and blossoming! And I won't give any hints to the genre but I am definitely excited about the story line... I want to hear more so that is always a good sign!!

  5. It's hard to be a writer but you never really fail (unless you give up). I've been trying to get published for 10+ years, and I wouldn't think of myself as a failure...more of an aspiring author :) Don't let your fears overwhelm you, even though it's scary.

    New follower...


  6. As a published author, I endorse everything that the others have said. The hardest step is to start, and the best advice I can give is not to expect perfection right away. Tell yourself you are playing with words, finding your own way forward, and - gradually - you will find you are on your way. Most of all: have fun!

  7. Thanks for the responses everyone! I am very much encouraged.